I have been surprised with the number of issues many of my friends, family, and myself included have had with men lately. I mean, Mercury is not even in retrograde, y'all! We (women) put ourselves on the back burner and allow space and time for our parter. We nourish and care for them and want it to be reciprocated. It is pretty simple. However, I see that the women I am surrounded by are constantly giving and are not in turn taken care of.
Dating is not easy today. We are living in a hook up culture: think Tinder and Grinder. Men are expecting women to quickly have sex and then they move on. This is something I have experienced, mostly in my college days, but I still feel it today here in Chicago and places I travel. Why is it that we are allowing this to happen? Is it a need to fill a void? An expectation? The only way we can find a dude?
Ladies, we need to know our worth. We don't deserve to be with someone who steps out on their partner, ignores us, or even those who just simply cannot commit. If your partner can't do the simple things of paying attention to us, show us affection, and being there than it is time to move on. We need to start thinking about our needs first.
I was dating this really awesome dude. He was great: driven, smart, funny, affectionate when we were together, well traveled, and wanted more in life. At first we were just having fun but somewhere along the way we were dating. He didn't live in Chicago and he wanted us to see each other a bit more. Well, he never delivered; something always came up. I finally talked to him about it and he changed but it was short lived.
He disappeared after a fun weekend together. I tried to get a hold of him and he just kept saying he would call but never did. I had to let him know how he made me feel so I sent an email. It was direct and honest. We chatted briefly after that email but I haven't heard from him since. The strange thing is, I don't hate him. Don't get me wrong, I was hurt, disappointed, and then mad. He seems like the type of person that can't handle when things get tough. He simply doesn't have time to date and I wish he would have just said it. Maybe our paths will cross again.
I do know this: it is summer time in Chicago and I am ready for some fun!